- From Inquiry to Paradise -
I call upon you, O my God, my Mercy, who made me and who did not forget me, though I forgot you. I call you into my soul, which you prepare for your reception by the longing you inspire in it. Do not forsake me now as I call on you who anticipated me before I called, and urged me with many kinds of repeated calls, that I should hear you from afar, be converted, and call upon you, who called me.
Lord, you blotted out all my evil desserts, not recompensing the work of my hands, by which I have acted rebelliously against you. And you have anticipated all my good desserts, so as to repay the work of your hands by which you made me, because before I came to be, you were, and I was not anything to which you might grant being. And yet, behold, I am - out of your goodness, anticipating all that you made me to be, and all out of which you made me. For you had no need of me, nor am I such a good one as to be helpful to you, my Lord and God; not in serving you, as though you were fatigued in working, or lest your power may be less if it lacked my assistance. Nor is my service to you like the cultivation of land, that you should go uncultivated if I did not cultivate you. But it is that I may serve and worship you to the end that I may have well-being from you, from whom I am one capable of well-being.
For the fullness of your goodness your creation exists so that a good which could not benefit you in any way might be. That creation is not out of you nor equal to you, but it was given existence by you. For what did heaven and earth, which you made in the beginning, deserve from you? Let those spiritual and material elements which you made in your Wisdom declare what they deserve of you to make a claim - even in their inchoate and formless state, whether spiritual or physical - ready to fall away into disorder and complete unlikeness to you. The spiritual, though without form, was superior to the physical, though formed, and the physical, though without form, was better than if it were altogether nothing. Thus they would hang upon your word in formlessness unless they would hang upon your word in formlessness unless they were brought back to your Unity by the same Word, endued with form and all made very good by you, the one Sovereign Good. How did they deserve you to be even without form, since they could not even have been this except from you?
How did corporeal matter deserve you to be even invisible and without form? It would not even have been this if you had not made it, and therefore it was not and could not deserve to be made by you. Or how could the inchoate spiritual creation deserve you even to ebb and flow in darkness like the abyss and unlike you? - unless it had been turned to that by the same Word who made it and unless it had been so enlightened by that Word that it became light. Even so, it was not equal to you, yet confronted to that Image which is equal to you, yet confronted to that Image which is equal to you. For to be a body is not the same as being beautiful - else it could not be deformed. So, likewise to a created spirit, to live is not the same as living wisely - for then it would be wise unchangeably. But it is good for it always to hold fast to you, lest it should lose by turning away from you the light it has obtained by turning to you, and thus relapse into a life resembling the dark abyss.
For even we ourselves, who in respect of the soul are spiritual creatures, having turned away from you, our light in that life was sometimes darkness; and still we work amidst the relics of our darkness until in your only Son we are made your righteousness, like the mountains of God, for we have seen your judgements, which are like the great deep.
What you said in the beginning of the creation. Let there be light, and there was light, I understand to be the spiritual creation, because there was already a sort of life which you might illuminate. But just as it had no claim on you for a life that could be illuminated, so neither when it already existed, had it any claim to be enlightened. For its formless condition could not be pleasing to you until it became light. And it became light not merely by existing, but by beholding the illuminating light and cleaving to it. It follows that it owes its living, and its living happily to nothing but your grace, being turned by a change for the better toward that which cannot be changed for better or worse. That, you alone are, because you alone simply are. To you it is not one thing to live, another to live happily, because you, yourself, are your own blessedness.
What would be lacking to your goodness which you yourself are, even if things had never existed or had remained without form? You made them, not out of any need of them but out of the plenitude of your goodness, shaping them and turning them to form as though your joy were not perfected in them. For since you are perfect, their imperfections were displeasing, and so they were perfected by you, and were pleasing to you. But it was not that you were imperfect, and were to be perfected by their perfection yourself. For indeed your good Spirit moved over the surface of the waters, not borne up by them as if he rested upon them. For he causes to rest in himself those on whom your good Spirit is said to rest. But your incorruptible and unchangeable will which in itself is all-sufficient for itself was borne upon that life which you had created. To that created life, living is not the same as living blessedly, since it lives ebbing and flowing in its own darkness. There it remains, wanting to be converted to him by whom it was made, and to live more and more by the fountain of life, and in his light to see light, to be perfected, given light and made happy.
Behold, now the Trinity appears to me in a glass darkly, which you, my God, are: because you, O Father, created heaven and earth in him who is the Beginning of our wisdom, who is your Wisdom, born of yourself, equal and co-eternal with you, that is, in your Son. We have said much about the Heaven of heavens, and about the earth invisible and without form, and about the dark abyss in reference to the wandering defects of its spiritual deformity. When the heaven of heavens turned to him from whom it had its first degree of life and was illuminated by him, it became a beauteous life, the heaven of that heaven which afterwards was set between water and water.
Under the name of God, I now understand the Father, who made these things; and under the name of the Beginning, I understand the Son, in whom he made these things; and believing, as I did, my God as the Trinity, I searched further in his holy words, and lo! your Spirit moved above the waters. Behold the Trinity: my God, Father Son and the Holy Spirit, Creator of all creation!
But why was it, O true-speaking Light - I lift up my heart to you: do not let me vanities; dispel its darkness and tell me, I beseech you, by your mighty charity, tell me the reasons, I beseech you - why was it that your Scripture should then at long last refer to your Spirit after the mention of heaven and of the earth invisible and formless, and darkness upon the abyss? Was it because it was appropriate that he should be spoken of as 'moving above', and this could not be said unless that were first mentioned upon which your Spirit could be understood to have moved? For he did not move over the Father nor the Son, and he could not have been described as moving above [or upon] if he were moving upon nothing. First, then, that over which he might move was described, and then he was mentioned, whom it is not proper to describe otherwise than as moving upon. But why was it not fitting that our knowledge of him should be conveyed otherwise, than as moving upon?
Let him who is able, now follow with his understanding the words of your apostle, where he says, Because your love is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who is given to us, and where, concerning spiritual gifts, he teaches and shows us a more excellent way of charity; and where he bows his knee to you for us, that we may know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge. Thus from the beginning he who is above all moved upon the waters.
To whom shall I tell this? How can I speak of the weight of evil desires, pressing downwards to the steep abyss? And how charity rises up again through your Spirit who moved upon the waters? For we are not immersed in space nor emerge from it. What can be more similar, and yet more dissimilar? They are the feelings, the love of cares, that we may lift our hearts to you, is your Spirit moving upon the waters, that we may come at last to that surpassing rest, when our soul shall have passed through the waters which are without substance.
Angels fell, the soul of man fell, and by this they have pointed out the abyss in that dark depth. That abyss was ready for the whole spiritual creation, if you had not said from the beginning, let there be light, and there was light, and if every obedient intelligence of your heavenly City had not clung to you and rested in your Spirit-moving unchangeably over everything changeable. Otherwise, even the heaven of heavens would have been in itself a dark abyss; but now it is light in the Lord. For even in that miserable restlessness of the spirits who fell away, and when stripped of the garments of your light, discovered their own darkness, you sufficiently reveal how noble you made the rational creation, to which nothing less than you will suffice to produce a happy rest. It is not a rest even to itself. For you, O God, shall lighten our darkness. From you shall come our garments of light; and then our darkness shall be as the noonday.
Give yourself to me, O my God. Restore yourself to me. Behold I love you, and if it be too little, let me love you more strongly. I cannot measure my love, so that I may know how much love there is yet lacking in me before my life can run to your embrace and not to be turned away, until it is hidden in the secret place of your Presence. This only I know: that woe is me except in you - not only outwardly, but also within myself. And all plenty that is not my God is poverty to me.
But were neither the Father nor the Son moving upon the waters? If this means in space, like a body, then neither was the Holy Spirit. But if it means the unchangeable supremacy of Divinity above all changeable things, then both the Father and Son and the Holy Spirit moved upon the waters. Why, then, is this said of your Spirit only? Why is it said only to him, as though he had been in space, who is not spatial, or whom only it is written that he is your gift? In your gift we rest. There we enjoy you. Our rest is our place. Love lifts us up to it, and your good Spirit lifts up our lowliness from the gates of death. In your good pleasure lies our peace. The body by its own weight gravitates towards its own place. Weight does not bring it necessarily to the lowest place, but to its own place; fire tends upwards, a stone downwards. They are propelled by their own weights; they seek their own places. Oil poured under water rises above the water. Water poured on oil sinks under the oil. They are propelled by their own weights, they seek their own places. Out of order, they are restless; restored to order, they are at rest.
My weight is my love. By it I am carried wherever I am carried. By your Gift we are inflamed and carried upwards. We glow inwardly and go forwards. We ascend the upward way in our hearts and sing a song of degrees. We glow inwardly with your fire, with your good fire as we go, because we go upwards to the peace of Jerusalem; for I was glad when they said to me, "We will go up to the house of the Lord." There your good pleasure has placed us, that we may desire nothing else but to dwell there for ever.
Blessed creation! [The spiritual heaven of heavens.] Although it was not what you are, it never had the experience of being anything else. It would have been something else if it had not, as soon as it was made, without any interval of time, been exalted by your Gift, the Spirit, which is borne aloft above all changeable things. In virtue of that call you said to it, "Let there be light," and so it was made light.
On the other hand, this process took place in us at different times - in that we were once darkness, and now have been made light. But of that heaven of heavens the only thing said is what would have been if it had not been illuminated. And this is so spoken as if it had been unsettled and dark before, so that the cause by which it was made to be otherwise might be clear, namely, that being turned to the unfailing Light, it became light.
Whoever is able, let him understand this. Let him ask of you. Why should he trouble me, as though I could enlighten any one who comes into this world?
Which of us understands the almighty Trinity? And yet who does not speak of It, if it really is It he speaks of? It is a rare soul who knows what he is speaking of when he speaks. Men contend and strive; yet no one sees that vision without peace. I would wish that men would consider the trinity they have in themselves. These three are indeed far different from the Trinity, but I merely tell them so that they may exercise and test themselves, and see how far they are from that Trinity.
Now the three things I speak of are, To be, to know, and to will. For I am, and I know and I will; I am knowing and willing; I know myself to be and to will; I will to be and to know. In these three, then, let him see how inseparable a life there is - yes, one life, one mind, and one essence; yes, finally, how inseparable a distinction there is - and yet a distinction. Surely a man has this distinction in front of him. Let him look into himself and see, and tell me. But when he discovers and can say anything about these, let him not think then that he has found that Trinity which is above these, the Unchangeable who is unchangeably, and knows unchangeably and wills unchangeably; and whether on account of these three (being, knowing and willing) there is also a Trinity, or whether these three are in each Person (so that the three belong to Each), or whether both things are true at once, wondrously, simply and yet diversely, in It self a limit unto Itself, yet illimitable (so that the trinity is, and is known to Itself, and suffices in Itself, unchangeable, the Selfsame in the abundant greatness of Its Unity) - who can readily conceive? Who could in any way express it? And who would in any rash way make a pronouncement on it?
Proceed in your confession, my faith. Say to the Lord your God, "Holy, Holy, Holy, O Lord my God; we have been baptized in your name, Father, Son and Holy Spirit; in your name we baptize, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, because among us also God in his Christ made heaven and earth, namely, the spiritual and carnal people of his Church. Yes, and our earth, before it received the 'form of doctrine', was invisible and without form, and we were covered with the darkness of ignorance For you chastened man for iniquity and your judgements were a great abyss. But because your Spirit moved upon the waters, your mercy did not forsake our misery, and you said, "Let there be light!" And because our soul was troubled within us, from the land of Jordan we remembered you and that mountain - high and holy but lowly for our sakes - and displeased with our darkness we turned to you, and there was light. And behold, we were sometimes darkness, but now we are light in the Lord.
But as yet we walk by faith and not by sight, for we are saved by hope; but hope that is seen is not hope. As yet deep calls unto deep, but now in the noise of your waterfalls. As yet Paul who says I could not speak to you as to spiritual ones, but only as unto carnal, even he does not think himself to have apprehended, but forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth to those things which are before, groans being burdened. And his soul thirsts after the living God, as the hart after the water brooks, and says, "When shall I come?" desiring to be clothed upon with his house which is from heaven. And he calls upon this lower deep, saying, Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,....... - P A G E O N E -
BY SAINT AUGUSTINE OF HIPPO
Wishing you, 'Happy Reading', and may God, the Father, the Son of the living God, Jesus Christ, fills your heart, mind, thoughts, and grants you: The Holy Spirit, that is, Wisdom, Knowledge, Understanding, Counsel, Piety, Fortitude, Fear of the Lord, and also His fruits of the Holy Spirit, that is, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Trustfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. Amen! God blessing be upon you!
Why do you call Me, "Lord, Lord" and not do what I say?' "Everyone who comes to Me and listens to My words and acts on them - I will show you what he/she is like. He/She is like a man/woman who when he/she built his/her house dug, deep, and laid the foundations on rock; when the river was in flood it bore down on that house but could not shake it, it was so well built. But the one who listens and does nothing is like the man/woman who built his/her house on soil, with no foundations: as soon as the river bore down on it, it collapsed; and what a ruin that house became!" - Luke 6:46-49 -
If we live by the truth and in love, we shall grow in all ways into Christ Jesus, who is the head by whom the whole body is fitted and joined together, every joint adding its own strength, for each separate part to work according to it function. So the body grows until it has built itself up, in love." - Ephesians 4:15-16 -
I still have many things to say to you but they would be too much for you now. But when the spirit of truth comes, he will lead you to the complete truth, since he will not be speaking as from himself, but will say only what he has learnt; and he will tell you of the things to come. He/She will glorify me, since all he/she tells you will be taken from what is mine. Everything the Father has is mine; that is why I said: all he/she tells you will be taken from what is mine." - John 16:12-15 -
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